I put nothing or everything in. My insides are burning intensely every evening. My brain is draining every morning. I feel as though I cannot be myself because I am constantly different. I hate boxes. I hate ideas. I hate constrictions that feel suffocating as I drown in these lines I am always in. I am teetering on reaching. Do all magnets come back? I am reaching this age to where I am wondering if the good ones will disappear. How many people are out there who have never felt a true connection? Feel the pull and ebb and actual entire attraction to a full being. Rare. It is rare. Known. A close friend who has seen their true being. But understood me better than most. I see the time wasted with the ones who were safety nets for me. As I didn’t wanna face what I was or felt. And after I realized I could be alone. I simply cannot be with someone I feel mediocre for. That’s where terrifying is real. Because I have felt the scale entirely. Wanting to change the smallest of things to simply investing in all the oddities because you’re fascinated. Could they ever do wrong in your eyes? No. Maybe if more time spent, I'm sure there would be idiosyncrasies. But when love is real, it's so beautiful that you recognize and just want more of them. Knowing others find it weird, off putting, disagreeable, and you sit there in awe wanting to crawl into their skin and soul. I think that’s so beautiful. How rare we find that in people. I don’t even find that in myself. So many things I dislike about myself. So few people we could truly love everything about. Yet when you do I don’t know. And maybe I felt that way and it wasn’t reciprocated, but why do we believe it has to be? Can we not appreciate the feeling and recognition of utter unrequited love? Something insanely confidential of that feeling. And to take it to the next level of that feeling being matched, mirroring intensely. I get goosebumps. How rare. How incredible so few people can feel this type of love at that level. And how. I think that’s the few times I can feel real. Stable. That is the break in the simulation, there’s nothing to qualify, there’s no question in it. You just find yourself there and in it. And it is. While everything else in this day to day is unendingly changeable. That feeling and matching power will never change. Because it can hold a feeling that is repellent to being affected by change. Absolute radiance.